A good question to ask before you try to start working things out is how to stop hurting after she's cheated. The answer will be a little different from one man to the next but there are many different things you can do that will all have you on the way to feeling better about yourself, her, and relationships after the affair.
Where should you begin in your efforts to stop hurting after she's been caught cheating?
1. Make peace with yourself and what has happened to you. It takes two people to make a relationship great and it takes two people to allow it to fall apart. Whichever path you choose you must make peace with yourself before you can move on and put the pain of her cheating behind you. Accept that things didn't work out. Acknowledge that part of the blame may very well be yours. Understand that it is what you do now that defines you and your relationship and not what's happened in the past.
2. Forgive her for the deed. There is something cathartic about forgiveness. Forgiving someone for hurting you can bring you a new kind of peace. It can also help you build a stronger and better relationship together if that's something you're interested in doing. You will never be able to move forward as a couple until you've managed to really forgive her for cheating on you.
3. Allow yourself a little time to experience the pain. Pain is part of the process of loving others. If it doesn't hurt then it can't really be all that wonderful. Allow yourself to experience some of the pain before you dive into new efforts to distract you from the pain. Time alone will not heal your pain but allowing yourself to work through the pain will enable you to complete the cycles of grief that are essential to the healing process at a faster rate.
4. Fill your hours trying to find ways to win her back and avoid this type of heartache in the future. It's a pretty safe bet that something was missing in the relationship or she would not have cheated in the first place. Find the missing link and make sure it's never missing again. Prevention is the best cure after all, even for cheating girlfriends. Your mission is to find out what she needed that you weren't giving her before and make sure she gets it this time around.
It's not as bit of a challenge to get your girlfriend back after she's been caught cheating as many people believe it to be. Chances are she's still interested you just have to find the right opening. This free video: http://www.magicofmakingup.com helps you get started. Put step one to work and see how quickly she's eating out of your hands.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=T_Dub_Jackson
Wednesday, 10 February 2010
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